Regarding Writing and Editing

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseeans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.
' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN- AMERICANS .

Furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a ' BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. '

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' -
He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. '

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.'

6 . It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging outof his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

And that, my writing friends, is your lesson for the week!