Little Humor for Wednesday!

Italian  Tomato Garden… 

An old Italian lived alone in  New Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. 

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.  The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: 

Dear Vincent, 
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.  I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. 
Love, 
Papa 

A few days later he received a letter from his son. 

Dear Pop, 
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried. 
Love, 
Vinnie 

 At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.  That same day the old man received another letter from his son. 

Dear Pop, 
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. 

Love you, 
Vinnie 
 

Medical Alert: Worse than bedbugs.

What is a calorie? Calories are the little bastards that get into your wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter.  MY CLOSET IS INFESTED WITH THE LITTLE SHITS.