Wednesday, February 8, 2012

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life in 2012 - Remember

 


1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written
 an impressive new book. It's called .... 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary ....
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only expects you To kiss his ring.


4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.


8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house..

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

11. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment ... for enjoying sex.

12.. As you slide down the banister of life, may 
The splinters never point the wrong way .... 

Be who you are and say what you feel ...

because those that matter ... don't mind ...
and those that mind ... don't matter!

8 comments:

  1. That shipping and handling is especially a killer when you live in Hawaii or Alaska.

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  2. Ha!!! Great start to my day Sylvia - reading this on the train at 7:00 am on Thursday.

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  3. Thanks for the smiles! I'll try to remember to think about those splinters.

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  4. UH HUH!
    ESPECIALLY we don't want the splinters going the wrong way!!!!
    No! No! NOOOOO! NO!!!!

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  5. I resemble number 8, Sylvia. Just ask my wife!

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  6. Very funny Sylvia, you've got very sound funnybones.

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  7. I definitely relate to no 4, and no 8 seems kind of familiar too. Thanks for the laughs Sylvia.

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