Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What Confuscious Did Not Say .......


I have a wonderful lady friend who is 87 and she keeps me supplied with side splitters! She does have a delightfully wicked sense of humor. I thought I would share some of it today!

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be  patient.
    Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing  of fly.
    Lady who goes camping must beware of evil  intent.
    Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find  nuts.
    Man who leaps off cliff jumps to  conclusion.
    Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who  runs behind car gets exhausted.
    Man who eats many prunes get good run for  money.
    War does not determine who is right, it determines  who is left.
    Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at  night.
    It takes many nails to build a crib but only one  screw to fill it.
    Man who drives like hell is bound to get  there.
    Man who stands on toilet is high on  pot.
    Man who live in glass house should change clothes  in basement.
    Man who fish in other man's well often catch  crabs.
    Finally CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . ...
    "A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger  Wood!"
And one last smile!

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12 comments:

  1. Linda ReederMay 2, 2012 at 7:38 AM

    Someone is very punny, and funny!

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  2. SuzMay 2, 2012 at 7:40 AM

    87? hee hee....I love her
    and that kitty picture...pure crackup

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  3. Nature RamblesMay 2, 2012 at 7:51 AM

    Thanks for the chuckle!;)

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  4. DianneMay 2, 2012 at 8:24 AM

    of course I love the kitten most :)

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  5. AlMay 2, 2012 at 3:41 PM

    Funny, and what a cute kitten!

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  6. Genie -- Paris and BeyondMay 2, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    Great funnies, and that kitten is precious. I do not think that kitty stayed there for very long before scampering up a wall - hah!

    Like your new template, but you knew I would, mon amie...

    Bises,
    Genie

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  7. GeorgeMay 2, 2012 at 5:18 PM

    I didn't know Confucius was so funny. Thanks for all the smiles.

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  8. SandyCarlsonMay 2, 2012 at 6:01 PM

    I needed these laughs. Thank you!

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  9. HildredMay 2, 2012 at 9:32 PM

    Gosh, I'm 87 and nobody ever told me all these funny sayings...I'm glad you finally did Sylvia.

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  10. KayMay 3, 2012 at 12:45 AM

    Oh too funny, Sylvia! Thank you for the MANY laughs! It really perked up my evening.

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  11. PerthDailyPhotoMay 3, 2012 at 6:55 AM

    I love that she still has such a great sense of humour at 87, I hope I do too I think it's what keeps you young. Thanks Sylvia, a good chuckle!

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  12. genieMay 3, 2012 at 7:15 AM

    Your skies are more than just pretty this week. They are really pretty. The third one has to be my favorite. It is heavenly...but then that is an appropriate adjective when using the work. heavenly. genie

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