Time to Laugh Again!

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING  IN A SAUNA.

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE
BEEP STOPPED.

THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. "I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR.

WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM.

SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.

THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........."WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT......I'M GETTING A FAX!!"

 Rye  Bread (stamina)

Two  old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting  on a park bench one morning.

The 87-year-old had just finished his morning  jog and wasn't
even short of breath.

The 80-year-old was  amazed at the guy's stamina and asked
him what he did to have so  much energy.

The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread  every day. It keeps
your energy level high and you'll  have great stamina with the   ladies."

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the  bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he  needed any  help.

He said, "Do you have any rye  bread?"

She  said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf  of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I  want 5 loaves."

She said, "My  goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be  hard."

He  replied, "I can't believe everybody  knows about this shit but  me."