Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Tuesday Giggles and Grins!!

A man boarded a plane with Eight kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting
 

across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked,

"Are all of those kids yours?"

He replied, "No Ma'am, I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
 

And then there is this story!!
 
Tom's Scrotum

 
The best story of the year doesn't give the proper praise and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a loving  wife......
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express  praise for answered prayers.
Suzy Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise report.  Two months ago, my husband, Tom had a terrible bike  accident and his scrotum was completely crushed.  The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they  imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every  move caused him terrible pain.  We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together  the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold  it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they  imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
"Now", she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out  of hospital and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should  recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief.  The pastor rose and  tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.  He said, "I'm Tom Smith."  The entire congregation held their breath.  "I just want to  tell my wife the word is sternum."

 

13 comments:

  1. Oh that is funny /Sylvia, the wrong word can put a whole new 'twist' ouch! on a story haha!

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  2. Thanks for the good humor! I also like your Our World post, and will add this anecdote, a friend likes to use it as part of his motivational speech at fundraiserss: "Give it up, folks. You will never see an armored car driving behind a hearse."

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  3. thanks for the laughs!

    and glad you're gonna get a special welcome in portland! ;)

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  4. Sternum, Scrotum, what's the difference?

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  5. I always look forward to your humorous posts.

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  6. Oh, so much appreciated on this cold rainy morning. Thank you Sylvia.
    I am so glad the Portland police department showed such good sense!

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  7. HA! Those were both funny! Thanks for the yuks!

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  8. It's late in the day, but thanks for the grins.

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  9. That was hilarious!! Thank you for the laughs Sylvia!!

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  10. Hari OM
    OMW that was truly cackle-worthy!!! I have, this very week, found myself in a wrangle due to small miscommunication - so much power they have. Words.

    Here's one for ya.... LOVE.
    YAM xx

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