A friend of mine sent this to me, knowing I was a former teacher and I could definitely relate!
Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am..'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Sylvia's world in thoughts and pictures
Hah hah, why you always get dirty?...these were good ones.
ReplyDeleteI have another one, somewhat dirty:
ReplyDeleteA teacher told the girls how to prevent sexual harassment, 'if a man lay his hands on your breasts, shout "Don't!" if he touch your bottom, shout "Stop!"'
One day, one of these girls was with two men, one laid his hands on her breasts and at the same time the other touched her bottom, and she followed her teacher's instruction to the letter. "Don't Stop!"
Well, the last one made me wince, but I liked it the best.
ReplyDeleteI'm just rolling on the floor laughing now!! Wish my kids turn out this smart!! HAHAHAHAHHA!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Kids!
ReplyDeleteHILARIOUS!! These jokes are probably non fictional...I wouldn't be surprised. Great post Sylvia!
ReplyDeletehow true, kids really get to the meat of it-don't they. no beating around the bush...
ReplyDeleteThese are all so funny. Kids do say the funniest things. I loved the one about him saying he got dirtier because he was closer to the ground!
ReplyDeletevery funny.
ReplyDeletehahahaha.....laughter is the best medicine Sylvia. Thanks for this post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chuckles ;--)
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings,