Friday, August 28, 2009

A Chuckle or Two for the Morning

Questions and Answers from AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep More soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

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13 comments:

  1. chrome3dAugust 28, 2009 at 9:50 AM

    I thought the 60+ guys with hot chicks was usually found from the french movies. This was a total laughfest even though the 60 year mark is still far away in my future. Happy bird...:)

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  2. Martha ZAugust 28, 2009 at 10:43 AM

    ;)

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  3. Bill S.August 28, 2009 at 11:06 AM

    Very funny, but mostly true

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  4. KayAugust 28, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    Thanks for the chuckle! :)

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  5. Michael HorvathAugust 28, 2009 at 12:22 PM

    Sylvia, you must have been pretty wild in your younger years. In fact I am certain you could most of us a run for the money right now.

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  6. RoshniAugust 28, 2009 at 1:06 PM

    Love the 'happy' bird!!

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  7. ChrisAugust 28, 2009 at 2:13 PM

    I'm still laughing Sylvia, the bird looks really fed up.

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  8. underOvr (aka The U)August 28, 2009 at 2:47 PM

    Hi Sylvia,

    I enjoyed the Q&A, especially the menopause and the Bible one!

    U

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  9. Bagman and ButlerAugust 28, 2009 at 3:04 PM

    I resemble those remarks.

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  10. bobbieAugust 28, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    All good ones, Sylvia. Thanks!

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  11. MareAugust 29, 2009 at 5:22 AM

    Thanks, I needed a laugh! I especially liked the reference to the Bible: Mary and Joseph! haha

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  12. magiceyeAugust 29, 2009 at 8:13 AM

    lol! those were hilarious!

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  13. IndraniAugust 29, 2009 at 8:50 AM

    Awesome collection!

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