'Old' Is When ........

'OLD' IS  WHEN.... Your sweetie says,  'Let's go upstairs  and make love,' and you  answer,  'Pick one; I can't do  both!' 'OLD' IS  WHEN... Your friends  compliment you  on your new alligator  shoes  and you're barefoot.. 'OLD' IS  WHEN... A  sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy and your  pacemaker opens the garage door. 'OLD' IS  WHEN...   Going braless   pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS  WHEN... You don't care  where your spouse goes,  just as long as you don't  have to go along. 'OLD' IS  WHEN... You are cautioned  to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police 'OLD' IS  WHEN...   'Getting a little  action'  means you don't need to take any fibre  today. 'OLD' IS  WHEN... 'Getting lucky'  means you find your car  in the parking  lot. 'OLD'IS  WHEN...   An  'all nighter' means not getting up  to use the  bathroom. 'OLD' IS  WHEN....   You are not sure these  are  jokes