Proper Use Of The Modern English Language

Just keeping you in the loop for proper word choice, always looking out for precision communication.

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS . And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

2. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..'

3. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

4. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

'VERBALLY REPETITIVE..'

5. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She has had a CEREBRAL LIPOSUCTION.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE

POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2.. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4.. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5.. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a 

severe case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6.. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'

These even made the donkeys grin!!