When Insults Had Class!!

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.  "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."      - Winston Churchill "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."      - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."      - Moses Hadas "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."      - Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."      - Oscar Wilde "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."      - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one."      - Winston Churchill, in response   "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."      - Stephen Bishop     "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."      - John Bright "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."      - Irvin S. Cobb  "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."      - Samuel Johnson "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."      - Paul Keating      "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."      - Forrest Tucker "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"      - Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."      - Mae West  "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."      - Oscar Wilde "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."      - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."      - Billy Wilder "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."      - Groucho Marx