1.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I
thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan
island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian
3.
She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her
still.
4. A
rubber-band pistol was
confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of
math disruption.
5. No
matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.
6.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
littering.
7.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
8.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a
tie.
9.
A hole has been found in the
nudist-camp wall. The police
are looking into it.
10.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana.
11.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other:
'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13.
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least
one of the puns would make them laugh.
No
pun in ten did.