Valuable Information!! And Some Senior Funnies for the Day!

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine...

and  those who don't.


As Ben Franklin  said:
In  wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water  there is bacteria.


In a number of carefully controlled  trials,
scientists  have demonstrated that if we drink
1  liter of water each day,
at  the end of the year we would have absorbed
more  than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria
found  in feces.
In  other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of  poop..


However,
we  do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and  beer
(or  tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
because  alcohol has to go through a purification  process
of  boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.


Remember:


Water  = Poop,
Wine  = Health.


Therefore,  it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water  and be full of crap.


There  is no need to thank me for this valuable  information:
I'm  doing it as a public  service!   

And this bit of elderly humor was sent to me by my very dear, friend who is in her late 80s and this is how we can keep going!! It's called LAUGHTER!! Have you got a sense of humor? Are you ready for some giggles?

Getting old in Arizona   Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in  Scottsdale , doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?' The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.' The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?' The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.' After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?' ********************************************************** Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Phoenix reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.. The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about. ********************************************************** A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Sun Lakes, an   Arizona Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?' He replies, 'I lived here years ago.' 'So, where were you all these years?' 'In prison,' he says. 'Why did they put you in prison?' He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.' 'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'  ********************************************************** Two elderly people living in    Apache Junction, he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?' After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!' The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?' He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ' Yes' or did you say 'No'?' He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.' ********************************************************** A man was telling his neighbor in Mesa , 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.' ********************************************************** A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Gilbert , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids ********************************************************** Life is short!  Break the rules!  Forgive quickly!  Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably..  And never regret  anything that made you smile  The best things in life are free until the government finds out and taxes it.

 

ABC Wednesday - G!

Got your dictionary out? You ready to play with the letters? It's that time again! ABC Wednesday is hosted by Mrs. Denise Nesbitt and the ABC team: Denise, Annelie, Leslie, Nathalie, Joyce, Donna, Helen, Roger, Troy, Jay, Barb, Gattina and me! And guess what? It's that day again!

Gather around Gang, stop the Gabbing -- this is no time to Gamble or Grumble! It's a Gala to Gladden your heart and  time to Gaily Get together and Go for those Genuine  G words! So, Gallop on over to Lady Alphabet's Garage and Get into the Game!! Just slide through the Gate, Go through the Garden -- you'll find a Gathering of Generous, Giddy, Gentle, Genteel alphabet loving followers, sipping Gin by the Glass, Giggling and dancing the Go-Go through the Golden Gardens and listening to a Great Gypsy Guy playing his Guitar. Take another Gulp of that Gin! It's the G Day! And here are my G words for the day!!  Hic!! Will someone please move that bottle of Gin. Thank you!  My G words are, Goose and Gander, Gorgeous Garden, Gold on the water, Gulls, Gold and Green trees! I'm really into Green and Golden colors after the Gray winter we've had!!

And Hooray again!! All the pics are mine!! Getting jealous Lord Google -- particularly today on the G Day???? That's Great!! Let me see you Grin!

That's My World!

That's My World is hosted each week by Klaus and the My World team, Klaus, Sandy, Wren, Fishing Guy and me. Join us and share your world with others from all over Our World! Just click on the post title, read the rules, sign up and play with us! So! How is your world this week? Have you taken time to see the beauty there? What is it about your world that makes you smile or laugh or feel grateful for?  It has been windy and really cold and even a little snow -- AGAIN! So, back to the files! Hope you all have a great week in Your World! And how about a little wit and wisdom to go with the beauty??

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.

Henry Ellis

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
William James

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.
Richard Bach

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
Truman Capote

Life loves the liver of it.
Maya Angelou

Life must be lived as play.
Plato

And here is my favorite pissed off  sea gull!   His expression and huddled body looked just like me this morning!! But don't tell him I said that -- he'd be really pissed off then! Who wants to think they look like some shivering, old broad????

MicroFiction Monday

Susan at Stony River Farm hosts Microfiction Monday. She posts a picture and you compose a story in 140 characters. You can click on the link under the title to get further instructions. To help you along she has posted a wonderful link that counts your characters for you! How great is that! You can get the counter at Design 215.

This meme is easy and it's fun! Thanks, Susan for hosting.

And here's the picture for the day!

No one big enough and smelly enough to wear these here in
Fairyland! But my magic beans will make it smell heavenly. Voila! my new bed!!

137

And from Mumbai! A real winner today, that's for sure!!!


I hear Palin's coming to India. Must do something. She jogs in the garden. This stickfast glue ball I'm dropping in should work. Betcha.
Posted by Ugich Konitari to Sylvia From Over the Hill at February 27, 2011 7:18 PM

Pet Pride!

Hey guys, get up off your tush and lets go see Bozo over at his pad in Mumbai! It's always a fun time when we all get together and talk about what's been happin', Bro! You know? Get your human to click on the Post Title, that'll take them to the website where you can sign up! We'll be waiting for you!!

Hey, we had some sunshine for a couple of days! Sure felt good!

Now, can you tell that Mojo is feeling like the Queen of the Road? Yep, they headed back to Portland on Friday! Man, is she sick of that car -- never liked to ride in it to begin with!!! So, she's been laying around looking pretty sad!

Now me! I've got a whole different plan! First, I'm getting a haircut on Tuesday and I'll be looking SO COOL!! Next, I'm already getting ready for St. Paddy's Day! Like my hat? And how about a glass of green beer?? Don't tell Mom though!!!

Hope all you guys have a great week!! See you next time!

Shadow Shot Sunday!

Get out the magnifying glass, get into your best sleuthing clothes and start prowling your environment looking for those wonderful, but sometimes elusive shadows. This fun and challenging meme is hosted each week by Tracy over at Hey Harriet! Click on the link under the blog title and sign up to play!! And another week of "iffy" weather! Some snow, lots of cold, temps in the teens and then a little lovely sunshine and blue skies! Nothing like variety! Right???  Well, when it gets really bad we can always have a sip of brandy while we wait for the sun to make another visit!! Help yourselves -- I left it on the windowsill!!

 

Weekend Reflections

Weekend Reflections is hosted by James each week beginning Friday at 11 AM Eastern Standard Time. It's another wonderful way of opening your eyes to new and different kinds of beauty. Click on the web address under the blog title and sign up to play with us!  We're still playing hide and seek with the sun these days and I am still looking forward to having something to chase besides old photos soon!!!

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.
Lou Holtz

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
John Barrymore

Dreams are necessary to life.
Anais Nin

Sky Watch Friday!

Time to share your skies, the beauty over your world, the clouds, the colors! Sky Watch is hosted each week by Klaus and the Sky Watch team of Klaus, Sandy, Wren and me. Join us and the many people from all over the world who share theirs with us each week! Click on the post title to be taken to the SWF website where you can sign up. Well, it was a little bit of everything again this week. We had some wonderful, clear blue skies over the weekend although it was quite cold. I got some shots of the setting moon early on a couple of mornings. We're being threatened with snow today -- but who knows what the reality will be?????  Anyway, I was looking for some humor to brighten my day today as far as quotes are concerned! Hope you get a smile, a giggle or chuckle! Have a wonderful weekend!

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Erma Bombeck

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein

 

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
H. L. Mencken

Evening, Wisdom and Beauty

May I never miss a sunset or rainbow because I am looking down.

Sara June Parker

Come forth into the light of things, let nature be your teacher.

 

William Wordsworth

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.

George Washington Carver

Confused????

I  became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue  'Service' U.S. Postal  'Service' Telephone 'Service' Cable TV 'Service'  State, City, County & Public 'Service' Customer 'Service' 
This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows.

 

BAM!!!  It all came into focus.  Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.   

You are now as enlightened as I am.

How do you know when it is time to "hang up the car keys"?

I SAY WHEN YOUR DOG HAS THIS LOOK ON HIS FACE!!!     A picture is worth a thousand words!

Remember Hollywood Squares Way Back When???

These great questions and answers are from the days when the Hollywood

 Squares game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.

Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

  Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde:   Loneliness!          (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up 

almost 15 minutes of the show!) 

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough..

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A.  Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A.  Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never  forget.  
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A... Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A.  Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie:  Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul  Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected..

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he  trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A.  Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A.  Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh 
 
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING!

ABC Wednesday - F!

Got your dictionary out? You ready to play with the letters? It's that time again! ABC Wednesday is hosted by Mrs. Denise Nesbitt and the ABC team: Denise, Annelie, Leslie, Nathalie, Joyce, Donna, Helen, Roger, Troy, Jay, Barb, Gattina and me! And guess what? It's that day again!

I'm already worn out having written the introduction for the F word -- oh, dear! That sounds bad, doesn't it?? Well, you know what I mean! Well, I hope you do! Anyway, here are my own, proper F words for the day! F is for, Ferry, Fine Food, Flaming skies, Fall, Family, Fingers, Flowers and Flamingos!!

I managed once again to get along without His Majesty Google although I am glad he's off paternity leave!!

That's My World!

That's My World is hosted each week by Klaus and the My World team, Klaus, Sandy, Wren, Fishing Guy and me. Join us and share your world with others from all over Our World! Just click on the post title, read the rules, sign up and play with us! So! How is your world this week? Have you taken time to see the beauty there? What is it about your world that makes you smile or laugh or feel grateful for?  It has been windy and really cold, BUT! Blue skies and lots of sun for the past couple of days. A blogging friend from California, Linnea at http://photoblogista.blogspot.com/, was here in Seattle and we went photo hunting together! We headed for the Sound! Amazing, but people were having great fun in the water and on on boats in spite of the rough sea and the cold! What a great day! So, this is what I'm sharing with you today! And it all started with getting this shot of a setting moon on Saturday morning!

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby

Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness.
George Washington

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
Bill Cosby

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
George Washington

A first breath of spring!

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
Will Rogers

Another blogging friend, Sally, http://www.chickendanceranch.com/ and I met this young lady earlier this week!  She was waiting for her "owner" who was having a cup of coffee in a nearby coffee shop! Seems she accompanies him everywhere in the front seat of his pick-up! Amazing the things we find in our world once we start looking, isn't it?  She was a friendly one, though and posed for pictures!!

And finally, a lovely end to a beautiful, fun day!!

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
Abraham Lincoln

  

MicroFiction Monday

Susan at Stony River Farm hosts Microfiction Monday. She posts a picture and you compose a story in 140 characters. You can click on the link under the title to get further instructions. To help you along she has posted a wonderful link that counts your characters for you! How great is that! You can get the counter at Design 215.

This meme is easy and it's fun! Thanks, Susan for hosting.

And here's the picture for the day!

Shaking all over she left his office and entered the empty hall. Freedom!
Who knew what was beyond that door, but she knew she could do it!

And for one of the few lighter looks at the pic of the day -- welcome my friend from Mumbai!

On your mark, go! Those who skate to the far end without stopping for pizza and icecream outside open doors, will be awarded a special prize!

Pet Pride!

Hey guys, get up off your tush and lets go see Bozo over at his pad in Mumbai! It's always a fun time when we all get together and talk about what's been happin', Bro! You know? Get your human to click on the Post Title, that'll take them to the website where you can sign up! We'll be waiting for you!!

Can you tell that we're dreaming, looking for SPRING???  Where is it?? When is it going to arrive??? We are both so tired of cold and rain!!!! We want some flowers and colors and SUNSHINE!!!
We're wishing for some spring and sun for you, too!!!