Children in Church

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd.     While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.      So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear." One Sunday in a Midwest City , a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.    Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.      Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!" One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am." A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"       One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them.      Then something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.       With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam 's suit".   The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.      Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.      After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?" Six-year old Angie , and her four-year old brother, Joel , were sitting together in church.   Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."   My grandson was visiting one day when he asked , "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"       I mentally polished my halo, while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied. A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.       Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus ? The virgin Mary or the  King James Virgin ?"   A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.      They were ready to discuss the last one.      The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.      Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

What is a Grandparent?

If you are not a  grandparent, you will still love this. If you are, it  shows how precious the babies are and what grandparents mean to  them. 
WHAT IS A  GRANDPARENT?
(Taken from  papers written by a class of  8-year-olds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man  who have no little children of their own.  They  like other  people's. 

A grandfather is  a man, and a grandmother is a  lady! 

 Grandparents  don't have to do anything except be there when we come  to see them.They are so old they shouldn't play hard or  run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give  us money. 

 When they take us for  walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and  caterpillars. 

 They show us and  talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why  we shouldn't step on  'cracks.' 

 They don't say,  'Hurry up.'  

 Usually  grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your  shoes. 

 They wear glasses  and funny underwear.

They can take  their teeth and gums  out. 

 Grandparents don't have to be  smart. 

 They have to answer  questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come  dogs chase  cats?' 

 When they read  to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for  the same story over  again. 

 Everybody should  try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like  to spend time with have  us.   

They know we  should have snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted  bad. 

A  6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ''OH,'' HE  SAID,

'SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER,  WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO  THEAIRPORT.'' 

GRANDPA  IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS,  BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART  AS HIM! 

It's  funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they  blame their  dog.

Can You Say "I love you" Any Better?

What  Love means to a 4-8 year old . . Slow down for three minutes to read this.  It is so worth it.  Touching words  from the mouth of babes.  A  group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8  year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got  were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.  See what you  think: 'Love  is what makes you smile when you're tired.'  Terri - age  4 'Love  is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before  giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'  Danny - age  7 'Love  is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you  still want to be together and you talk more.  My Mommy and Daddy  are like that. They look gross when they kiss'  Emily - age  8 'Love  is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents  and listen.'  Bobby - age 7  (Wow!) 'If  you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you  hate,'  Nikka - age 6  (we need a few million more  Nikka's on this planet)   'Love  is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it  everyday.'  Noelle - age 7   'Love  is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even  after they know each other so well.'  Tommy - age  6   'During  my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the  people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.  He  was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy  - age 8   'My  mommy loves me more than anybody  You don't see anyone else  kissing me to sleep at night.'  Clare - age  6   'Love  is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of  chicken.'  Elaine-age 5   'Love  is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer  than Robert Redford.'  Chris - age  7   'Love  is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all  day.'  Mary Ann - age 4   'I  know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and  has to go out and buy new ones.'  Lauren - age  4   'When  you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out  of you.' (what an image)  Karen - age  7   'Love  is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's  gross.'  Mark - age 6   'You  really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it,  you should say it a lot. People forget.'  Jessica - age  8   And  the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a  contest he was asked to judge.  The  purpose of the contest was to find the most caring  child.  The  winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly  gentleman who had recently lost his  wife.  Upon  seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,  climbed onto his lap, and just sat  there.  When  his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy  said,  'Nothing, I just helped him  cry'

And What About Our Children?

Speaking of financial crises and how they can expose weak companies and weak countries, Warren Buffett once famously quipped that “only when the tide goes out do you find out who is not wearing a bathing suit.” So true and I agree with NYT Op-Ed columnist Thomas Friedman who said in his column today that what’s really unnerving is that America appears to be one of those countries that has been swimming buck naked – in more ways than one.

He goes on to say that credit bubbles are like the tide. They can cover up a lot of rot. In our case, the excess consumer demand and jobs created by our credit and housing bubbles have masked not only our weaknesses in manufacturing and other economic fundamentals, but something worse: how far we have fallen behind in K-12 education and how much it is now costing us.

In the 1950s and 60s, the U.S. dominated the world in K-12 education. We also dominated economically. In the 1970s and 80s, we still had a lead, albeit smaller, in educating our population through secondary school, and we continued to lead the world economically, albeit with other big economies, like China, closing in. Today, we have fallen behind in both per capita high school graduates and their quality. Consequences to follow.

In the 2006 Program for International Student Assessment that measure the applied learning and problem-solving skills of 15-year-olds in 30 industrialized countries, the US ranked 26th out of the 30 in math, and 24th in science. That put our average youth on par with those from Portugal and the Slovak Republic, rather than with students in countries that are more relevant competitors for service-sector and high-value jobs, like Canada, the Netherlands, Korea and Australia. And while our fourth-graders compare well on such global tests with, say, Singapore, our high school kids really lag, which means that the longer American children are in school, the worse they perform compared to their international peers.

It’s not that we are failing across the board. There are huge numbers of exciting education innovations in America today, but the problem is that they are too scattered around the country leaving all kinds of achievement gaps between whites, African-Americans, Latinos and different income levels.

But it’s not just where education is concerned that we are failing our children. Bob Herbert, also a NYT Op-Ed columnist, wrote yesterday about our “Children in Peril”. There is little doubt that poverty and family homelessness are rising, the quality of public education in many communities is deteriorating and that legions of children are losing access to health care as their parents join the vastly expanded ranks of the unemployed.

Unemployment is expected to continue to rise for the foreseeable future, and with state and local governments staggering beneath the weight of budget deficits, there is no reason to believe that these problems and their profound negative impact on our children will do anything but worsen. States from coast to coast are cutting social service programs that include investigations of abuse and neglect along with socially beneficial and even life-saving programs for children are in the works in many states.

So, when do we stop the petty politics among those in Washington? I believe in Obama’s awareness of these problems as well as his desire to focus on trying to solve them, but what about members of the House and the Senate? When does our country, our people and particularly our children get put at the top of their list? That’s what I’m waiting for, but I’m not holding my breath.

Children Writing About the Ocean

As a former teacher, my friends know how much I enjoy reading about things that kids write and say in the classroms, consequently they send me the good, the bad and the funny things that they find. This is one of them for your afternoon giggle!

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly,
age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island. If you don't have
ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne, age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy, 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots
and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make
the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans..
(William, age 7)

8) Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and
like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like,
really? (Helen, age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes
my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't
go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

14) The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I
don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, 7)

A Great Dog Story

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard one day; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well cared for. He calmly came over to me and I happily patted him on his head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, so I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me like an old friend, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.

This continued, off and on, for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar:
'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

The Feel Good Feeling of Giving

A couple of months ago after reading a post on Maithri's blog, Soaring Impulse, about the importance of nets to protect children from mosquitos and malaria, I went to the site he wrote about and began donating whenever I could. It's been a good feeling to know you can help, even in a small way.

This is part of an email I received today and I wanted to share it with you.

Dear Sylvia,

You did it! You helped us provide enough life-saving bed nets to fully cover the four refugee camps in Kenya. Thank you for sending nets - a combined 128,000 of them - to save lives and protect refugees from malaria.

From the refugee's point of view - a life-saving bed net.

I just returned from Dadaab, Kenya, where I was able to witness the first batch of your nets being distributed. I won't sugar coat it. Life in Dadaab is hard and the issues that refugees and our partner, the UN Refugee Agency (UNHCR), face are complex.

There are a quarter million people living on land that should hold one-third that many. Each day hundreds of refugees, mainly from Somalia, arrive in Dadaab and there is simply no more space. Water is running short. And limited resources mean that UNHCR is forced to make hard decisions on who is most in need.

In the midst of such complexity and hardship, the impact of a bed net was more clear to me than ever.

In going door to door with the health workers to distribute the bed nets and help hang them in the mud brick and stick homes, I met women like 25-year-old Wassan. Having arrived in Dadaab just nine months ago with two children, Wassan was grateful to receive a bed net. And while we cannot change all the struggles she and her family face, with a simple bed net you have dramatically improved her life and that of her children by giving them the opportunity for a healthy life.

Thank you for your support! We have more work to do, but it is important to take a moment to recognize what we have accomplished together. Full coverage of all refugee camps in Kenya is no small achievement - congratulations!

Adrianna Logalbo
Director, Nothing But Nets
http://www.NothingButNets.net/

Even if it's just a little, it can make such a difference in some child's world and it makes a difference in mine as well.

Laugh for the Day

Should children witness childbirth?

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded,

'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......smack him again!'

If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.

The Big Question for Young Couples Today

Should we get a dog?














Or should we start a family?