I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

PARAPROSDOKIANS: (Winston Churchill loved them.)

A good friend sent this to me last night and I just had to share it with you today! Great chuckles for the day -- and with a fancy name!!!


Here is the definition:

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. 

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.


3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.


5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


6. War does not determine who is right — only who is left..


7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.


9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.


10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.


11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.


12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'


13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.


16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.


17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.


18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.


19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.


20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.


21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.


22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.


23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.


26. Where there's a will, there's relatives.

11 comments:

Reader Wil said...

Chuckle, chuckle,chuckle.... Thank you Sylvia!

PerthDailyPhoto said...

I'm still laughing Sylvia.

Pat Tillett said...

Every one of them was good and funny! All very true also...

cieldequimper said...

Lol! I think I'm going to make my colleagues laugh tomorrow (and polish up their English!)

This is Belgium said...

ha ha , I have trouble trying to pronounce the word para....Sylvia !

Ann said...

That first advice, my very wise grand pa used to tell us all the time.

Black Jack's Carol said...

Beautiful photos and simple but profound sayings. Loved the laughs, and perhaps especially #9,10 and 14.

magiceye said...

brilliant!!

Jo said...

OMW Sylvia! These are brilliant! Number 10 describes my desk at the moment! Hope you're having a wonderful day. Jo

TexWisGirl said...

several REALLY good ones in this group! thanks!!!

George said...

I love these.

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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