GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says - something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have
to go a long.
3. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
Thoughts for the week:
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press
'Ctr- Alt- Delete' and start all over?
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with
something called 'labor!'
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Ponderisms
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die
of natural causes..
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed
and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
ground easily, it was a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to
look up there anyway?
Oh, I think this is gonna hurt!!!!
Do you ever wonder sometimes why you visit my blog? What can I say??? It's just one of those days!!
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway!
