I miss you Sam!!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Evening, Wisdom and Beauty
Like I've always said, love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun. ~Armistead Maupin, Maybe the Moon
Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination. ~Voltaire
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. ~Pearl Bailey
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. ~Erich Segal
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. ~Robert Frost
Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. ~Zora Neale Hurston
Shadow Shot Sunday!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Evening, Wisdom and Beauty
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. ~Yiddish Proverb
When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other. ~Alan Alda
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. ~Irish Proverb
Seven days without laughter makes one weak. ~Mort Walker
A laugh is a smile that bursts. ~Mary H. Waldrip
Flight Crew Announcements
I have an 87 year old friend here in Seattle who sends me much of the funny stuff I share with you here and this is the latest
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.
-----------
United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
--------
On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.'
---------
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?' 'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?' The little old lady said, 'Did we land or were we shot down?'
---------
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella, WHOA!'
-----------
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, 'Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that.'
--------
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.'
------------
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!'
-------
'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them home with our compliments.'
--------
'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses....except for that gentleman over there on the next aisle.'
--------
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City - The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 'That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.'
-------
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.'
---------
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of U.S. Airways.'
--------
Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - 'Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em.'
-------
( THIS IS MY FAVORITE) A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!' Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
A passenger in Coach yelled, 'That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!'
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.
-----------
United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
--------
On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.'
---------
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?' 'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?' The little old lady said, 'Did we land or were we shot down?'
---------
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella, WHOA!'
-----------
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, 'Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that.'
--------
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.'
------------
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!'
-------
'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them home with our compliments.'
--------
'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses....except for that gentleman over there on the next aisle.'
--------
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City - The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 'That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.'
-------
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.'
---------
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of U.S. Airways.'
--------
Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - 'Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em.'
-------
( THIS IS MY FAVORITE) A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!' Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
A passenger in Coach yelled, 'That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!'
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sky Watch Friday!
Time to share your skies! Sky Watch is hosted each week by Klaus and the Sky Watch team - Klaus, Sandy, Wren, Fishing Guy and myself. Click on the icon and sign up to share your beautiful skies along with the over three hundred people from all over the world that participate each week!
We had our usual amazing variety of skies this past week.
The sun, the moon, and the stars would have disappeared long ago had they happened to be within reach of predatory human hands.
~Havelock Ellis
You must not blame me if I do talk to the clouds.”
~Henry David Thoreau
There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.
~G. K. Chesterton
There seems to be so much more winter than we need this year. ~Kathleen Norris
A pessimist only sees the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all--he's walking on them. ~Leonard L. Levinson
We had our usual amazing variety of skies this past week.
The sun, the moon, and the stars would have disappeared long ago had they happened to be within reach of predatory human hands.
~Havelock Ellis
You must not blame me if I do talk to the clouds.”
~Henry David Thoreau
There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.
~G. K. Chesterton
There seems to be so much more winter than we need this year. ~Kathleen Norris
A pessimist only sees the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all--he's walking on them. ~Leonard L. Levinson
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Evening, Wisdom and Beauty
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~Ingrid Bergman
Ancient lovers believed a kiss would literally unite their souls, because the spirit was said to be carried in one's breath. ~Eve Glicksman
We're all kissed by angels but some of us never think to pucker. ~Amethyst Snow-Rivers
Lips that taste of tears, they say,
Are the best for kissing.
~Dorothy Parker
Friends are kisses blown to us by angels. ~Author Unknown
Can you tell it's getting close to Valentine's Day?
Never Tick off Your Nurse!
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, 'I have to take your temperature.' After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
'No, I'm sorry,' the nurse stated, 'but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer.' This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, 'I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!' She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing. After a half hour, the man's doctor came into the room. 'What's going on here?' asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answered, 'What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?'After a pause, the doctor confessed..... 'Not with a carnation.'...
'No, I'm sorry,' the nurse stated, 'but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer.' This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, 'I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!' She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing. After a half hour, the man's doctor came into the room. 'What's going on here?' asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answered, 'What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?'After a pause, the doctor confessed..... 'Not with a carnation.'...
In Case You Missed it on 60 Minutes,
-- this is what
Andy Rooney thinks about women over 50.
As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women over 50 are dignified.. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
And while we're talking about old women ......
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old woman, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.
'No, I don't,' she replied.
'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry,
Then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'
She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked.
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
(Gotta watch those little old women! Their minds are always working!)
How Dinosaurs Became Extinct.
The very first "senior moment."
Andy Rooney thinks about women over 50.
As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women over 50 are dignified.. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest.. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
And while we're talking about old women ......
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old woman, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.
'No, I don't,' she replied.
'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry,
Then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'
She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked.
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
(Gotta watch those little old women! Their minds are always working!)
How Dinosaurs Became Extinct.
The very first "senior moment."
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Evening, Wisdom and Beauty
Four things you can't recover:
The stone........after the throw. The word.........after it's said..
The occasion........after it's missed. The time.........after it's gone.
Smile, breathe and go slowly. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Breath is Spirit. The act of breathing is Living. ~Author Unknown
I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am. ~Sylvia Plath
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. ~Frederick Douglass
The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. ~Joe Houldsworth
One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination. ~Sam Levenson
The great man is he who does not lose his child's-heart. ~Mencius, Book IV
The stone........after the throw. The word.........after it's said..
The occasion........after it's missed. The time.........after it's gone.
Smile, breathe and go slowly. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Breath is Spirit. The act of breathing is Living. ~Author Unknown
I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am. ~Sylvia Plath
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. ~Frederick Douglass
The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. ~Joe Houldsworth
One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination. ~Sam Levenson
The great man is he who does not lose his child's-heart. ~Mencius, Book IV
ABC Wednesday - D!
How are your ABC's? ABC Wednesday is hosted each week by Mrs. Denise Nesbitt and is always fun! Click on the icon and sign up to show us what you know about the alphabet!
The letter for the day is D! And surprise, surprise! Around here D is primarily for Dogs! Meet Mojo the Most!
And now, Sam Schnauzer
D is for Daughter!
A Dancing Daughter at that!
And D is for David the Drummer! That's his night job -- during the day time he works at the University of North Texas.
I know, I know, you've seen them before, but what can I say??? They fit the day and I do love my kids!!
Life is never
Black and White;
The man
in the
black and white outfit,
so blinded
by
life's bursting colors
amidst
the crash and boom
rumbles away
on his drums;
a background score
to a
graceful lady
smiling
as she tangoes
away,
facing up,
stretching a thought here,
kicking a trouble there,
And someone
in Seattle,
clicks,
pours a coffee,
sits back,
smiles, and says,
D for "Dear"....
Aren't they ?
Posted by Ugich Konitari to Sylvia From Over The Hill at February 9, 2010 7:50 PM
The letter for the day is D! And surprise, surprise! Around here D is primarily for Dogs! Meet Mojo the Most!
And now, Sam Schnauzer
D is for Daughter!
A Dancing Daughter at that!
And D is for David the Drummer! That's his night job -- during the day time he works at the University of North Texas.
I know, I know, you've seen them before, but what can I say??? They fit the day and I do love my kids!!
Life is never
Black and White;
The man
in the
black and white outfit,
so blinded
by
life's bursting colors
amidst
the crash and boom
rumbles away
on his drums;
a background score
to a
graceful lady
smiling
as she tangoes
away,
facing up,
stretching a thought here,
kicking a trouble there,
And someone
in Seattle,
clicks,
pours a coffee,
sits back,
smiles, and says,
D for "Dear"....
Aren't they ?
Posted by Ugich Konitari to Sylvia From Over The Hill at February 9, 2010 7:50 PM
Monday, February 8, 2010
Evening, Wisdom and Beauty
Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do. ~Jean de la Bruyere
What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult. ~Sigmund Freud
A child's world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us that clear-eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe-inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood. ~Rachel Carson
My childhood may be over, but that doesn't mean playtime is. ~Ron Olson
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