I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Ah Ha! A Look at Marriage for the Day!!

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" 
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! 

A man and his wife were having an argument about who 
should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ....... 
The Silent Treatment 
A man and his wife were having some problems at home 
and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. 
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. 
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


TexWisGirl said...

lots of good laughs here! thanks, sylvia!

Mama Zen said...

I love that last one!

Team G Square said...

Superb and hilarious.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om

.......He Brews......am still trying to catch my breath from the giggling on that one!

Hugs, YAM

Jo said...

OMW, they're all such clever stories, but the last one really gets me. Thanks for the giggle, Sylvia. Jo

Jack said...

Very funny, as usual. YOu are definitely the glass is half full kind of girl. Maybe the full full kind of girl.

Dianne said...

You started my day off with a real laugh ... love the one about the remote in the handbag.
Hope your week is going well Sylvia.

magiceye said...

Thank you for the laughs to kick off the day!

George said...

Thanks for all the smiles. I really like the woman's revenge.

Κωστής Τζαγκαράκης said...

Thank you for the loughs Sylvia ... I needed them.
You made my day.

Indrani said...

Hilarious reads. :)

Sandy Carlson said...

Thanks for making me laugh!

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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