I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

A Retirees Last Trip to Walmart!! Do We Seniors Have Fun or What!!!

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think, I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try
it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day!

I'm gonna see if I can get thrown out of K-Mart tomorrow.  Retired life can be fun.

Think we need to check this out?????
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Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
YAM xx

TexWisGirl said...


George said...

I love it!

EG CameraGirl said...

This is so funny, Sylvia! I LOVE your sense of humour.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

You made me laugh Sylvia... again :)

Indrani said...

:D Too good.
Thanks for the laugh.

Mersad said...

Thanks for the laughs. Great story to share.

Mersad Donko Photography


I'm retired....and I'm literally laughing out loud!!

What a hoot.

Jo said...

I could just picture the people queuing behind the retiree and listening to that story! Great! Greetings. Jo

Al said...

An amusing story, Sylvia. People do ask strange questions sometimes. I hope you're enjoying your weekend - yesterday's snow turned into sunny t-shirt weather here today.

Lowell said...

Love that great new header and what a fun story! I shall repeat this to my "friends." Merci!

And have a wonderful week!

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

Portland Time