I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Blessed Are The Cracked, For They Let In The Light!!




 TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 
2. 
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 
3. 
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 
4. 
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke . 
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder. 
8. 
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe . 
9. 
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 
 
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine. 
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 
13. 
The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 
14. 
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! 
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 
18 
. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 
20. 
A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 
23. 
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 
24 . He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 
26 . Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what is going on . 
 

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! 

Life is too short and friends are too few !

12 comments:

clairz said...

Thank you, Sylvia. We used to tease my mom about her "polite smile" (see #29) but I find it on my own face a fair bit lately!

Mama Zen said...

#19 is so true! I should know!

Jack said...

I'm not putting my own number on the record, but anyone guessing #16 wouldn't be too far off.

TexWisGirl said...

ha ha!

George said...

Thanks for the 30 smiles -- I like your new header and it made me smile as well.

anni said...

good ones, very funny!
i have more than 1 favorite if that works ?..

Arija said...

A great way to start my day! Thank you.

Your new header is the best one yet!!!

Deb said...

Taking a mid-day break and am so glad I stopped in here. I am smiling!

Genie said...

Thanks for sharing these with all of us. I cannot wait to share them at school tomorrow. They are really funny.genie

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Hi Sylvia, Thanks for the smiles today... Love the 1st one...CUTE!!!

Hugs,
Betsy

Reena Walkling said...

These are awesome. Had to read them to hubby! Loved that ham and eggs ...

Kay said...

There's something about that background music quote that got to me. Sometimes, I really felt I needed some music.

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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