I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Okay Gentlemen??? This One Is For You!!


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
 
1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are
perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem
only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did
  NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it
will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or
golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.
Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh
This was from an 85 year old "WOMAN"  friend of mine and I'm passing it on to all of you -- and hope you get as big a laugh as I did!!

15 comments:

George said...

I think these are pretty neat rules! They make perfect sense to me -- just don't tell Betsy I said that!

Reena Walkling said...

Yep, all the guys will agree ... some of them I even agree with! LOL!

PerthDailyPhoto said...

Hilarious Sylvia, and actually they make such a lot of sense when put like this, the one factor that changes everything as far as women are concerned is that we don't think in black and white there are so many colours in between..not to forget about hormones, emotions etc haha! poor men they don't stand a chance!!

Genie said...

It is always nice to find someone older than I am that still has a good sense of humor. This is hilarious.I will definitely be sharing it with other my age. genie

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

You gave me a laugh today. Only a woman could post this.

Jack said...

I am not going to admit which of these best fit me. Maybe all. Asking for directions is a sign of weakness, and if you ask my opinion, you're going to get it, so think before asking for it.

Tracy said...

That is hilarious! Absolutley...but I won't be showing it to my husband; what he doesn't know won't hurt him!

NixBlog said...

LOL. Good one, Sylvia. See, we men are simple creatures...

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Hi, Sorry I haven't been around this week. We have been traveling and taking more photos... Hope you are having a great week.

Great post. Made me laugh... AND--I agree!!! It could only have been written by a woman.

Hugs,
Betsy

Team G Square said...

Its applicable to men all over the world , just the language and sport changes .

DeVona said...

Smile!

Pam said...

Married life would have been so easier if I had read these rules 49 years ago.
~:)

forgetmenot said...

Yes, I got a "big" laugh from this--thanks. Mickie :)

Jim said...

Amazing colours.
Sydney - City and Suburbs

Cezar and Léia said...

Makes sense to me. :)
God bless you!
Cezar

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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