I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Top 8 Morons of the Day!!


1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? 
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS. 
Police in Oakland , CA , spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up!' 
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, herein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts! 
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 
5. DID I SAY THAT???     (the best one so far)
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! 
In Modesto, CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)! 
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! 
Last summer, down on Lake  Isabella , located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield , CA , some folks new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. 
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect 
working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.  NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!  
 
 

16 comments:

lotusleaf said...

I enjoyed reading them and am still laughing! Thanks, Sylvia.

Mama Zen said...

That last one . . . oh, I can imagine it!

Paula Scott said...

Trailer still attached to the boat. Oh, my!!! Funny, yet frightening!

Always love seeing the new header (header du jour)!

Have a wonderful week!

Reader Wil said...

Ha,ha...! Thanks for these funny stories!

RuneE said...

You do mind some beauties! It is difficult to choose, but the first one gets my vote :-) (we have that sort of problem here to ...)

Betsy from Tennessee said...

How funny..... Love these crazy things.. Makes ya wonder about people, doesn't it???????? ha ha (I would never make a 'blunder' like that.... Another HA HA HA)

Hugs,
Betsy

Carol said...

Oh, Sylvia, you are too funny! I am LOL.

TexWisGirl said...

oh dear, oh dear x 8! :)

NixBlog said...

LOL! Great to start my day out with a laugh, Sylvia!

Michael Horvath said...

I want to be like John Walter!

Sridharan said...

ha.ha.ha.. Too good Sylvia..!

Jack said...

No one ever went broke by underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

Cher said...

did i say that? and the grand finale made me laugh my heart out. :D

PerthDailyPhoto said...

Still laughing too.......!

Stewart M said...

That last one is a real howler!

Splendid!

Stewart M

Pam said...

After reading and giggling at this, I feel much better about myself.
Thanks, Sylvia.

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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