I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Proper Use Of The Modern English Language

Just keeping you in the loop for proper word choice, always looking out for precision communication.


Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

2. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..'

3. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

4. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

'VERBALLY REPETITIVE..'

5. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

'LOW COST PROVIDER.'
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She has had a CEREBRAL LIPOSUCTION.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE
POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2.. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4.. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5.. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a 
severe case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6.. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'
These even made the donkeys grin!!

15 comments:

Enrique G.A. said...

Hi Sylvia have to forgive, not so often pass by your blog, but I'm very busy lately with time.
I love your post and of course the picture of the end.
Greetings. -

Κωστής Τζαγκαράκης said...

Thank you Sylvia for making my evening.
I really enjoyed all of them.
Have a beautiful day.
Costas

Betty Manousos@ CUT and DRY said...

haha! too funny!
clever installment, thanks for sharing:)

wish you a great rest of the day!

Linda said...

Sylvia,
Thanks for commenting. Sorry this has been such a bad year for your family. I was glad to get the report however. Hope you're doing well.

George said...

The donkeys aren't the only ones grinning! Thank you for helping me be PC.

Pam said...

Add one more grin to the mix.
Thanks for my daily dose of laughter, Sylvia.
~:)

jewaicious said...

What a great post, humorous, but to the point about issues. Love the photo.

NixBlog said...

Ha! Great to start the day with a smile. Sylvia! Enjoy the rest of your week!

Cher said...

had the most laugh on the cerebral liposuction and rectal-cranial inversion. :D

christopher said...

The donkey's grinning...and at 'trouser cleavage' perhaps...great caption to go with the post.

lotusleaf said...

I loved it- specially the ones about men!

PerthDailyPhoto said...

'Trouser cleavage' I agree with the donkeys hahhahahah!I must remember No2 in the talking about men correctly, I definitely know a few who that applies to!!

Ann said...

Jethro, look what they doing to our TV show?

Cezar and Léia said...

There are some good ones here...
I like the thing about alternative destinations, I do it all the time! :)
God bless you!
Cezar

Indrani said...

Fun... fun... funny! :)

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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