This is just too funny - scary how true it is!!!
If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and
scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...
but that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns
inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it,
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns
inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it,
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.
Can you tell I'm approaching another birthday????
The government today announced that it is changing its symbol for Congress to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance ... a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!!
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!!!
And then there's this one!
The government today announced that it is changing its symbol for Congress to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance ... a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!!
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!!!
15 comments:
I will leave my comment here, after admiring your "Our World" photos and smiling at some of the familiar "bumps and dents" we obviously share. I know your birthday will bring lots of laughs, so I know it will be a happy one. As for your maximum speed, all the more fun and all the more beauty you will find with those extra hours to get there :)
Oh, that's hilarious!
Very funny Sylvia and so true!
Hilarious! Both of them. Mind if I steal the condom one?
The condom one is soooo true, Sylvia. Thanks for the smile!
Too funny, Sylvia. Great to start my day with a laugh. Enjoy the rest of the week.
Okay, you got me laughing out loud! I'd laugh some more at the first piece, but I slipped on a rubber and broke my leg!
Like everyone else, I'm laughing out loud as I read your post... funny, sad, true all at the same time!
PS: Happy birthday!
You are a scandalous old bird, Sylvia!
I too chuckled.
Reading this, I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
Thank you Sylvia for the loughs..
How true both jokes are..
And scary as you say... but that's reality.
Costas
So funny Sylvia and all true EXCEPT for the sneeze, cough and splutter bit, havn't quite got there yet hahahahahahha!
Happy Birthday Sylvia! Hope you have a wonderful year. Greetings, Jo
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