I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Time to Laugh Again!


THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING  IN A SAUNA.

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE
BEEP STOPPED.

THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. "I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR.

WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM.

SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.

THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........."WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT......I'M GETTING A FAX!!"



 Rye  Bread (stamina)

Two  old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting  on a park bench one morning.


The 87-year-old had just finished his morning  jog and wasn't
even short of breath.

The 80-year-old was  amazed at the guy's stamina and asked
him what he did to have so  much energy.

The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread  every day. It keeps
your energy level high and you'll  have great stamina with the   ladies."

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the  bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he  needed any  help.

He said, "Do you have any rye  bread?"

She  said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf  of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I  want 5 loaves."

She said, "My  goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be  hard."


He  replied, "I can't believe everybody  knows about this shit but  me."

15 comments:

Lois said...

Thanks for the laughs this morning Sylvia!

Andrea said...

What a way to start the day ... thanks for the lift, you are fun.

Andrea @ From The Sol

Mama Zen said...

Hilarious!

Rob and Mandy said...

Excellent!

George said...

Thanks for the smiles on a dreary day.

Andrea said...

Sylvia, I am passing the "Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award" on to you as a way of saying thank you for all of the up moments I have spent on your blog. Feel no obligation to accept it ... just know that you deserve it.

Andrea @ From The Sol

Sylvia K said...

Andrea, thank you so very much! I don't participate in blog awards because my greatest reward is the friends and contacts I have made through blogging. Your kind words and the fact that my efforts have meant something to you is the greatest gift/award that there can be! I hope your week is going well and filled with blue skies, laughter and love!

Sylvia

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Hard, huh????? Ha Ha Ha.... Love it!!!!!

I had heard the fax one before --but it still made me snicker!!!
Hugs,
Betsy

NixBlog said...

Always good to start the day with a smile, Sylvia! Thanks.

Linda Reeder said...

Sylvia, you are so naughty! and funny!

Judy SheldonWalker said...

I have to agree with Linda Reeder!

Jack said...

You have some awfully funny material. Sylvia. Naughty, of course, but funny!

mississippi artist said...

Oh my gosh, you are going to make me hurt myself one day! TOO funny.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

Hahahahahahaha! I'm going to have to remember the 'fax machine' one Sylvia,did i mention lately that I loooove your sense of humour!!

Jim said...

Unreal shots.
Sydney - City and Suburbs

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

Portland Time