I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The giggles are worth the time!!

Here are the winners:
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) amen!!!

Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido : All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. 

And the winners are: 

1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2.  Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3.  Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4.  esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5.  Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.

6.  Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7.  Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.

8.  Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.  Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10.  Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11.  Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.

12.  Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13.  Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14.  Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15.  Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.  Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. (THE BIG WINNER)


PerthDailyPhoto said...

Balderdash!!!! Hahahha! these are hilarious Sylvia, thanks for the laugh just before I jump into bed!!

TexWisGirl said...

these were greatness!

Lowell said...

These are really funny. Had me laughing out loud! Some very creative people out there.

Jack said...

These are hilarious, Sylvia. I laughed out loud eight or nine times. Quite a ratio!

Betty Manousos said...

those are really hilarious !

i literally was lol!


EG CameraGirl said...

SO funny! I think bozone ought to be a real word. :))

Kusum said...

Very very funny!

Andrea said...

Boy if you could write a story using these words you would be famous ... you might even make it on the evening talk shows. My husband finally came over to see what I was laughing about ... Now we are both laughing. You Rock!

Andrea @ From The Sol

George said...

I think all of these are winners. Thanks for sharing them.

NixBlog said...

Hillarious (Sylvia from Over the HILL's funny posts)

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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