I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

How About These Paraprosdokians for the Day!!!

Gotcha, Huh!! Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.  Winston Churchill loved them.  Here are some examples:

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

"The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place" George Bernard Shaw


Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

This is my kind of humor..thanks for the smiles with my morning coffee!

Smooth "sailing" on your interstate move!!! We'll be in the same state later this summer.

TexWisGirl said...

too cute. loved these. several reminded me of the wry comic stephen wright. :)

Jack said...

Those are very funny. I hope you aren't expecting us to remember that name.

George said...

I love these. Thanks for sharing them with us.

Jo said...

OMW Sylvia. These are brilliant.It's 3.50am in East Africa and I chuckled at each one! I tried to pick a favorite but love them all. The one about equality between men and women takes the cake. May you have a smooth move to Portland. Greetings.Jo

Karen said...

Love these!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Yes, I COL (cackled out loud!). Trouble is I know these as truisms... and I can remember the word - but am impressed with the bigger one!

Big cheesey smiles... YAM xx

PerthDailyPhoto said...

No 13 is the Libra (moi) catch phrase Sylvia :)

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

Portland Time