I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Just So You Know .....

Proper Use Of The Modern English Language:

Just keeping you in the loop for proper word choice, always looking out for precision communication.
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'

You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

2. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..'

3. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

4. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

'VERBALLY REPETITIVE..'

5. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

'LOW COST PROVIDER.'
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She has had a CEREBRAL LIPOSUCTION.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE
POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2.. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4.. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5.. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a 
severe case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6.. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'

10 comments:

Mama Zen said...

"Overly Caucasian" cracked me up!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
oh yes, medical me likes the idea of telling a bloke he has a serious case of "RCI"!!!

Love to you and Sam. Continue well. YAM.

TexWisGirl said...

thanks for the snickers. :)

DeniseinVA said...

Had a good one chuckling at this one, thank you :)

James said...

Too funny!

It's nice to laugh but I hope Sam is okay! :-(

Jack said...

I can always count on you, Sylvia, for a good belly laugh. I am not going to tell you how many of these apply to me!

George said...

Thank you for helping me keep up to date and use proper English. It's especially nice to know that I am an Appalachian-American.

Margie's Musings said...

Hillarious!!

Andrea said...

Oh the gift of laughter ... once again you have started my day out the right way. If you are writing these, you are amazing. If you are finding these, you are amazing ... Let's face it ... You Are Amazing! Love to Sam:)

Andrea @ From The Sool

PerthDailyPhoto said...

Hahaha! So funny Sylvia.

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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