Just So You Know .....

Proper Use Of The Modern English Language:

Just keeping you in the loop for proper word choice, always looking out for precision communication.

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS . And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

2. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..'

3. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

4. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

'VERBALLY REPETITIVE..'

5. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a

'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She has had a CEREBRAL LIPOSUCTION.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE

POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2.. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4.. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5.. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a 

severe case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6.. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'