I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Some Old - Some New - All Funny --




While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room.  As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent.  Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair.  Placing his hand on the man's, he said, I know how you feel. My Mom makes me ride in the stroller too.

                                As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room.  Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing.  After mulling over my answers, she remarked, My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. In ten years, I said,you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.
Carolyn shrugged.  In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.

                    
Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children.  One day, I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her injection.             No, no, no she screamed. 
"Lizzie, scolded her mother, "that's not polite behavior.
With that, the girl yelled even louder, No, thank you!  No, thank you!"

                               ****

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, Dad, I know babies come from mommy's tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?   After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, You don't have to make up something, Dad.  Its okay if you dont know the answer.

                               *****

Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him.  Im going to be away for a long time, I told him.  Im going to Iraq.
Why? he asked.  Don't you know theres a war going on over there?

                               ******

Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood diseases.  One afternoon, he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids.  A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldnt know Newman was a famous movie star, explained, Thats
the man who made this camp possible.  Maybe youve seen his picture on this salad dressing bottle?   Blank stares.  Well, youve probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.
An eight-year-old girl perked up.  How long was he missing?

                               *******

And my personal favorite  Gods Problem Now!!!

His wife's graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.  The little, old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she’s there."

8 comments:

PerthDailyPhoto said...

All good but the last one made me lol Sylvia :)

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Fun, all of them.... YAM xx

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

I love these Sylvia. They have little ironic twists to them.

TexWisGirl said...

some really cute ones. :)

Fotolosopher said...

Love 'em all! Thanks for brightening my day. Hope your weekend is going well!

Kay said...

I just loved every one of these. Too funny!

Dianne said...

A lovely way to start my day Sylvia .... lots of chuckles

magiceye said...

Thank you for these! Great way to begin the week!
Shall share these gems!

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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