I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Questions I Can't Answer!! How About You? Long but Funny!



Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?  Where's that extra penny going to?
 
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
 
They're going to see you naked anyway.


Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
 

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
 
They're both dogs!
 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
, morons? 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a
hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?




Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
 

Why,
Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going
dead? 
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? 
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 


Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? 
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,
then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one
more chance? 

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table  you always manage to knock something else over? 
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And
my FAVORITE......


The
statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. 

 



8 comments:

PerthDailyPhoto said...

No it's not me.. at least two of my best friends are nuts :)

Andrea Priebe said...

Well if it wasn't me before, it is now after reading all of those questions and realizing how strange our lives are. I assume a Happy Birthday is in order here. Isn't it wonderful to still be here for each birthday? I read your "What can I say" and am very impressed with your past life and your current life ... and I know what you mean about enjoying retirement most of the time. So Happy Birthday again, Sylvia and thank you for all of your encouraging comments and your wonderful sense of humor that perks up my day on a regular basis ...

Andrea @ From The Sol

Indrani said...

Good funny read. :D
I always wondered about goofy and pluto when I was small. :P :)

TexWisGirl said...

what a great set. well worth the read and laughs. :)

Jack said...

You always come up with great stuff. And Grace is the crazy one.

Paula Scott Molokai Girl Studio said...

The toaster question is particularly intriguing! WHy that setting? LOL! Thanks, Sylvia for the smiles and joy you bring.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Oh that is quite the list of questions... much like a toddler would ask!!! Made for an entertaining and giggle-worthy read... YAM xx

magiceye said...

Interesting set of questions indeed!!

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

Portland Time