WOMEN'S
REVENGE
"Cash,
check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As she fumbled
for her wallet, I noticed
a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry
your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could
do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING
WOMEN
(A MAN'S
PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never
understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip
the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE
SEMINAR
While
attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and
his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is
essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and
dislikes." He
addressed the man,
"Can you
name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm
gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
WIFE VS.
HUSBAND
A
couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An
earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede
their position. As they passed a
barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,the husband
asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the
wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife
about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to
a man's 15,000. The wife replied,
"The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then
turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't
know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife
responded, "Allow me to explain.God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to
me; God made
me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES
WHAT
A man and his wife
were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning. The
wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to
wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
for my coffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do
it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband
replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and
opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several
pages, that it indeed says .......
...
"HEBREWS"
The
Silent Treatment
A man and his
wife were having some problems at home
and were
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an
early morning business flight.
Not wanting to
be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The
next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed
his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake
up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of
contests.
