I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Humor for Wednesday


A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
From now on when I say BELL 1
I want you to strip naked.
When I say BELL 2
I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3
We are going to make love all night.
The next night he came home from work and yelled
BELL 1! The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled 'BELL 2!', the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled 'BELL 3!', they began making love
After a few minutes the wife yelled 'BELL 4!'
What the hell is BELL 4?' asked the husband?
ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,' she replied

YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.



Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.

8 comments:

EG CameraGirl said...

Thanks for the smiles, Sylvia!

Anonymous said...

LOL...Now I don't need to post this. This is just too funny. Well done my friend :) Love it

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Great jokes - all new to me too. A x

Anonymous said...

LOL. HILARIOUS!!!

Peggy said...

Sylvia;

Thses were really really funny. So clever and made me laugh. I need that today!
Thanks friend.

magiceye said...

lol! that was hilarious stuff!

Unknown said...

Very good Sylvia....
I needed the lough.
Costas

Susan at Stony River said...

Thanks for the laughs, Sylvia!

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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