Ah, the Joys of Aging!!

Temps in the 40s early this morning, gray, raining -- again, and I needed a laugh or two for the day!!

An elderly couple were attending church services.

About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, "I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

He scribbles back , "Put a new battery in your hearing aid.."


SEX AFTER DEATH .....

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:

" Marion ... Marion "
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.
I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, Bob are you in Heaven?"
"No...........I'm a rabbit in Arizona!

Oooops!!

There was once a hunter, alone in the woods, no restrooms. So he walked over to a tree and propped up his gun to take a wizz. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged ... shooting the hunter in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot....."

"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."

"Well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"Not exactly," answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the West Virginia Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."


Global Facts About Sex

At Any Given Moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading blogs.

You hang in there, Sunshine ...