I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Paraprosdokian!! Curious? Check This Out!

To save you the trouble of looking it up:
A paraprosdokian  (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe the first part.  It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

 Ø   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ø   Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Ø   The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on the list.

Ø   Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø   If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø   War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø   The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø   Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.

Ø   A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø   How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø  I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø   A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø   I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø   Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø   Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø   Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø   Behind every successful man is his woman.  Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø   A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø   You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø   The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø   Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won't expect it back.

Ø   A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø   Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø   Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø   Some cause happiness wherever they go.  Others whenever they go.

Ø   There's a fine line between cuddling, and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ø   I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.

Ø   When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø   You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø   Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Ø   Some people hear voices.  Some see invisible people.  Others have no imagination what so ever.
Ø   A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Ø   If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Ø   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


maryt/theteach said...

I love these, Sylvia! I learned something! :)

kml said...

Thanks for the chuckles - these are great!

Naturedigital said...

I cant stop laughing Sylvia.. Your post is really great...
Now may I add some interpretation of the Greek words ..?
With your permission of course...
What you said "para prosdokian" "παρά προσδοκίαν" in Greek can literally be translated in English as you rightly said "beyond expectation" like something you cannot believe it is happening .. or too good to be true... beyond anyone's hopes.. winning the 50 million jackpot.
What you are posting here, is something like what we call "οξύμωρον" or "oxymoron" which means the second part of a phrase is contradicting or conflicting with the meaning of the first, like when we say " run slowly"...

The end meaning is always funny and hilarious as is every sentence in this great post of yours..

Sorry for my intervention here.. but just wanted to clarify the two meanings a little more. Anyway, sometimes one cannot be certain if it is the one or the other..
Ancient Greeks have left us more than enough to make our heads spin when trying to comprehend them and their fine ideas.
Have a great day.

Quilly said...

I laughed all the way through this one!

Kay L. Davies said...

Well, I will forget whichever name is correct, because I know I'll forget both of them by the time I click off this page.
Meanwhile, I had a wonderful time reading your list of whatevertheyares, Sylvia. There are some I would memorize if I could still do that, but I have to leave what's left of my memory for my address and phone number. Hard to believe I ever memorized Kipling's "Ballad of East and West" and harder still to believe I still remember most of it, along with my address and phone number.
-- Kay, Alberta

Georgia said...

very nice and funny post!!

Pietro said...

Sylvia, they are so funny and have their own logic too! Nice post!
Happy Thursday :-)

nana_ang_poppaphil said...

Very funny Sylvia, a great way to start my day.

George said...

Thanks for the new world and all the smiles you've given today.

jlshall said...

Great stuff! This has always been my favorite kind of humor - now I have a name for it!

Happy Wednesday!
~ Joy @ Joysweb

Boonie S said...

This is very witty, and I learned a new and useful word - "paraprosdokian". I shall use it all the time now.

Have a nice day, Boonie

Anonymous said...

LOL PhQB...you made my day :) Have a good one :)

Anonymous said...

They are all very good and you know of course that he who laughs last had to have the joke explained!

Susan at Stony River said...

Lots of good ones in this bunch, Sylvia! No way could I pick a favorite -- but I liked learning a new word to go with them.

Rosadimaggio63 said...

Hi Sylvia :)
la frase che mi è piaciuta di più è stata :
" Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. "
Bellissima !
Buona serata Myriam

Louis la Vache said...

Oh, you've got some good ones here!

Janie said...

I'm glad you defined this (I won't even try to spell it). I loved the examples!

magiceye said...

that is amazing!

Linda Reeder said...

I read a similar list recently, sent by email. I think these are wonderful!

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Funny funny -- and I always appreciate a great new word!

~Cheryl said...

These are priceless! Great for meditative moments.

Grayquill said...

Where did you ever get such a list? My personal favorite - and it makes me wonder about myself - "The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." OUCH! That's gotta hurt.

Kay said...

Oh my gosh! This was so much fun to read, Sylvia. Thanks for sharing this with us!

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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