I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Witticisms of Ignorance

It 's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk  
if you can lie on the floor 
without holding on.

We have enough youth.

How about a fountain of "smart"?

 The original point and click interface  
was a Smith & Wesson.
A fool and his money  can throw one heck of a party.
when blondes have more fun do they know it?
Five days a week my body is a temple. 
The other two it's an amusement park.
 Money isn't everything, 
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
 Don't Drink and Drive You might hit a bump and spill something.
 If at first you don't succeed 
skydiving is not for you.
Reality is only an illusion 
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Time's fun when you're having flies.
......Kermit the Frog
We are born naked, wet and hungry. 
Then things get worse.
 Red meat is not bad for you  Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers 
give the rest a bad name.
<> One good thing about Alzheimer's is  
you get to meet new people every day.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge 
to produce reproductive organs.
Alabama  state motto:  

At least we're not Mississippi
The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population
"You know why a banana is like a politician?"
"When he first comes in he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten."
"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors."
Last Minute Information!!!

I  became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue  
'Service' U.S. Postal  'Service' Telephone 'Service' Cable TV 'Service'  State, City, County & Public 'Service' Customer 'Service' 
This is not what I thought 
'Service' meant.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows.

BAM!!!  It all came into focus.  Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.   
You are now as enlightened as I am.


JM said...

What a very cool post! :-)

Maria said...

Great post! I also think that money keeps people in touch. But we should not worship it. There are so many good things that have no money value, they cost nothing!
Have a great week ahead, Cynthia!

Maria said...

e.g. friendship :)

lotusleaf said...

The latest survey must have been conducted by a reputed institution!

Kay L. Davies said...

Fun stuff for the day, Sylvia. I got a good laugh out of Xerox and Wurlitzer.
-- K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

You are funny. You'll probably get some flack, but you are brave and I like you. :>)

magiceye said...


SandyCarlson said...

These were fun.

I always smile when I hear people talk of being serviced.

Have a great Thursday!

Francisca said...

What a fun collection of humor, Sylvia! Hard to pick a favorite, but I think it might be the definition of government service!

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

You got a lot of sayings today. I also enjoy hearing about people getting serviced.

Team G Square said...

Wow! hilarious , wonderful what a way begin the day .

Melanie Sherman said...

I liked the reproductive organs the best, but the NASCAR idea for politicians might have merit.

Wick Daily Photo said...

What a service you've provided us today!

Gattina said...

the services here are the same ! only for cows, lol I am an only child so I suppose my parents used birth control or I was an accident ???

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

Portland Time