I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Some Humor for Wednesday! We Need All We Can Get!!

 Dog Logic
The  reason a dog has so many friends is  that he  wags his tail instead of his  tongue.

-Anonymous

There  is no psychiatrist in the  world like  a puppy licking your face.


-Ben  Williams


A  dog is the only thing on  earth that  loves you more than he loves  himself.

-Josh Billings

If  you pick up a starving dog and make him  prosperous, he  will not bite you; that  is the principal difference between a dog and a  man.

-Mark  Twain

 

And back to humans ......
 
...A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge Heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral. I'm a gynecologist". The proctologist fainted!

And of course a blonde joke for the day!!  But a cute one!
A blonde was driving her car about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man asked her, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back who have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. "What the heck are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!"
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "but we had such a good time and money left over, so now we're going to Sea World."  
 

17 comments:

Gillian Olson said...

Love the dog pictures, and the jokes made me laugh, especially the one about the doctors.

Sandy said...

Love the logic on the dog pics. So very true. And the blond jokes were so funny, have to remember to tell my friends. (o:

Rohit Sareen said...

ROFL...i almost dropped my laptop!

have a fab day n tx for putting a big smile!

Jackie said...

Love the gorgeous puppy and cat pictures, and the two funny stories are great, I've got to remember the blonde one!

Dianne said...

the animals are precious
animals are some of the best people I know :)

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

Love your jokes, love the quotes about dogs. We have three of them. When Logan is a little slow we say, "dogpile" and they all go tearing into his room, jump up on the bed, and get him up.

Al said...

Very funny, and those pictures are too cute. Dogs certainly are faithful companions!

Jack said...

Funny, Sylvia, as always.

Mama Zen said...

That joke about the cardiologist's funeral had me rolling!

SandyCarlson said...

Thanks! Sure needed these after a strange week without heat or electric light....

hitchwriter said...

:D :D :D

Indrani said...

The blonde story... too good. :)
Great quotes with the dog shots.

nana_ang_poppaphil said...

The blonde joke....hahaha!! I just can't stop laughing.

And those dog photos, gorgeous.

Grayquill said...

Nice! You never disappoint me.
Specific instruction are sometimes required.

Jenny Woolf said...

What gorgeous dogs! and the jokes made me laugh. Thank you! :)

Francisca said...

All just too funny, Sylvia... needed to get my funny bone tickled this morning! And the first quote about dogs wagging tails instead of tongues is oh so true! :-D

forgetmenot said...

Great "dog" pics and such wonderful quotes. Love the "blonde" joke!!! Mickie :)

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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