No NURSING HOME FOR me!!!
I'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when I get old and too feeble. I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.
For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $59.23 per night.
Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.$5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.
While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.
And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.
If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.The grandkids can use the pool. What more could I ask for?
So, now that I have reached that golden age, I'll face it with a grin.
AIDS WARNING!
To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this email is especially for you......
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDIC
Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDIC
Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)
14 comments:
It's 11pm here in Perth and I was just about to jump into bed, thought I'll just check out Sylvia's latest post..hahahahaha! hilarious, I'm in!! Holiday Inn here I come, hmmm! I wonder if they have one in Paris!
This sounds like a plan to me. I can't think of any downsides. I've always found Holiday Inn to be very comfortable.
HI Silvia, I am George's wife--and have a question for you.. How (on Blogger) did you get your snowflakes??? Email me at betsyadams@mac.com...
Thanks so much.
Betsy
Ha Ha Sign me up.. what a deal!
Why didn't our government think of this? I guess it is just to simple.
Thanks for my morning Giggle, Sylvia.. your the best medicine, my friend :)
Hugs,
Pam
That is funny and actually, food for thought-never considered a Holiday Inn for senior care, but why not?
I hope you are doing well and that you have a Merry Happy Christmas Holiday!
laughing again, here! :)
I am booking my room now ! Thanks for the laugh. (o:
I read about this too. I will book the penthouse next to you, and we will have a ball.
The Golden Girls is re-running here, and I love it.
LOVE your sense of humour, Sylvia.
Loved it (a lot of truth in it too - if you are a minimalist and live out of a backpack) and had a good chuckle at your last section too.
I think that you are on to something.
Here I come Holiday Inn!!! I love your "Aids"--too cute. Have a lovely Holiday Season, Sylvia, and a New Year filled with peace, joy, and blessings. Mickie :)
Wow , nice way to get healthy
I just read this to Buddy, and made his night. I was thinking low rent housing for the aged as a possibility, but now you have presented me with an even neater idea. You are the best and that hew header is just too clever. Hope you are having a nice holiday. Take care...genie
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