I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Some Giggles and Grins for the Day!!


Repairing hearts
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...

"Try doing it with the engine running."

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An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old..."

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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

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Some people try to turn back their odometers.

Not me! I want people to know why I look this way.

I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

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You know you are getting old when everything either... dries up or leaks.

First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.... it's worse when you forget...to pull it down.

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around WalMart when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?

To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."

*********************

"Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!"

11 comments:

Stewart M said...

I may have to remember (some of!) these!

Cheers - Stewart M - Melbourne

My name is Riet said...

I didn't just giggle Sylvia, I laughed out loud, haha. These are all funny and true LOL.
Have a nice week.

PerthDailyPhoto said...

Hahaha! You little devil you Sylvia :)

Jo said...

Everyone is such a laugh, Sylvia. Thanks for your regular visits to and comments on my blog. I'm having Internet issues and often can't get onto other blogs to comment. Have a great day. Jo

EG CameraGirl said...

Thanks for making me smile, Sylvia!

TexWisGirl said...

haha. i like the heart surgeon one.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
...and again nearly fell from chair... nothing to do with the years (ahem)! YAM xx

Mama Zen said...

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."

That is so true!

Lois said...

I love it when you make me laugh Sylvia! Thanks!

visualnorway said...

Have you the one about the doctor calling the plumber about his clogged-up drains? The plumber said: "Throw two Aspirins into the toilet and call me in the morning if it isn't any better".

Not quite up to your standard :-)

Jack said...

I think that young guy needs more help looking for his wife. I'll be right there.

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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