SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight
attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John
asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need
to see your ticket, not your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do
these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're
dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped
for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the
officer said. The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the
bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The
truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009 !!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,
shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam
with your other hand.'
A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband
replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect
Sylvia's world in thoughts and pictures
I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!
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What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.
12 comments:
I'm on the floor. Hilarious stuff!
LOL, Sylvia....thanks for the funnies;~}
What a chuckling way to start the week....funny.heeeee
Those were great !!!
Sylvia,
Those are all very funny. Thanks for the laughs.
lol! hilarious stuff!
Oh wow! These are pricelss! Thanks for the laughs.
Oh these are GREAT! I must admit that's a pet-peeve of mine, when someone states the obvious (like the police officer in #2). These are all great antidotes.
But the poor woman in the bonus! Oh no! I hope she got him back but good.
:-D
All of these are hilarious, but No 5 gets my vote for the best retort.
Good ones, Sylvia. When is the funeral for that last guy?
Thanks for the smiles Sylvia. I needed them today.
You are the BEST!!!
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