A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.
Traffic Cop: Don't have one?
Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 ye ar s ago for drunk driving.
Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Traffic Cop: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Traffic Cop: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Traffic Cop: You what!?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The traffic cop is quite stunned.
Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license quizzically.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!
Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Mature Ladies
Sylvia's world in thoughts and pictures
I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!
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What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.
20 comments:
take that!!
hahaha!! Nice one!
lol! I should've thought of that a year ago when I got as speeding ticket!
LOL great Sylvia..thorougly enjoyed it
I love it!
So amusing, Sylvia!!
LOL! Far be it from me to mess with anybroad!
You are being bad again!
ROFLMAO!!! Batgirl eat your heart out LOL :)
loved it!!!!!!!!!
I am so happyyyyyyyyy to be nr 250!!! follower in your blog!!! have a very nice weekend!!
Hahaha! YES!! LOVE it! Don't underestimate the power of witty, smart "Mature" ladies like us!! Cheers!
This is a new one to me and I laughed loud and long. Thanks for my daily dose of medicine.
This is a new one to me and I laughed loud and long. Thanks for my daily dose of medicine.
Oh to be that quick and clever!
Oh my gosh! This is so hilarious! Thanks for the laugh, Sylvia.
Oh my gosh! This is so hilarious! Thanks for the laugh, Sylvia.
Hahaha ! that was me !
The funny thing is I read this joke already but in FRENCH ! somebody had translated it apparently.
Thanks for the laugh. I wouldn't dream of messing with mature ladies!
My kind of lady!
And now I wonder how many people have tried that since this was first told LOL
Thank you, MB
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