I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy St. Patrick's Day!! And Some Chuckles Too!



I've always wondered what the big tease is about blondes, but regardless of the hair color, these are funny!

DISNEYLAND

Two blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.
They started crying and turned around and went home.

FLORIDA OR MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other,
'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?'

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding
and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
'You ARE on the other side.'

DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper put down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

PASSWORDS!

During a recent password audit, it was found that a
blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said
she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters
long and include at least one capital.

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs.
The girl asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde.
'They're watch dogs!'

The End!

Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket...keep it in your own.

20 comments:

nsiyer said...

'Watch dogs'! that's something awesome to see at the end. How have you been?

Regina said...

Great collections!
Hilarius and nice post Sylvia!
Cheers.

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Peggy said...

Happy St. Paddy's Day Sylvia!
Your jokes are funny, and I'm a blond!
have a great day.

Unknown said...

HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY TO YOU..

Nessa said...

i love being a blonde. we have the funniest jokes.

happy saint patrick's day!

"Oh, he occasionally takes an alcoholiday." - Oscar Wilde

Wordless Wednesday - Sláinte!

Jay said...

Lots of silly fun for today! LOL! I've always laughed at the one about the carburettor, no matter how often I hear it!

K. said...

I never get tired of blond jokes! Which is odd, because the blond who graced by life for 20 years was as sharp as a stiletto. Go figure.

Laura said...

Thanks for the giggles:)

Roshni said...

Happy St Patrick's day! Good thing I'm brunette! :P

Rob Siemann said...

Excellent! Happy Paddy's day to you from 2 Dubliners by heart!

Ria said...

Your blog is hysterical - i was laughing my butt off!!

I was wondering if I could borrow the list that Thom posted on his blog today that he got from you?

Anonymous said...

LOL...this is just to funny PhQB Love them all but the watch dogs is hysterical. Happy St. Patrick's Day to you and your family :) xoxoxox

Sylvia K said...

Ria -- by all means!! Share the fun!! Thanks for stopping by, glad you got a good laugh! We can all use those!

Have a great day!!

Sylvia

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Hi Sylvia -- great jokes! We have been involuntarily on vacation from the computer since last Friday and I've been in serious withdrawal. I'll be back soon to catch up.

Sallie (formerly blonde -- that's why my husband had to fix the computer problem!)

Susan at Stony River said...

I laughed and laughed at these -- where would we be without blondes? ROFL

Happy Saint Patrick's Day Sylvia, I hope you had a wonderful day!

Sylvia K said...

Susan, it's been a great day and the sun came out to celebrate with me! It's gorgeous here right now! Supposed to be in the 60s the next two/three days! Whooppeeee!!!

magiceye said...

lol! that was hilarious!

Kay said...

These are hilarious! The broken finger one somehow really tickled my funny bone. :-)

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Love the blonde jokes - they all made me chuckle. A

Author said...

I've heard several blonde jokes, but I never heard these before. They're great!

- Square Peg Guy

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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