Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. — Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.
Distance lends enchantment to the view. — Mark Twain
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
— Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. — Mark Twain
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies. — Mark Twain