I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Some Humor for Wednesday!

Why men aren't allowed to take messages!!
And how about these headlines! Makes you wonder about newspapers, huh?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter  
This one was caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and they called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.     

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says  
      No kidding, really? Ya think?  

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers   
       Now that's taking things a bit far!  

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over   
       What a guy!    

Miners Refuse to Work after Death  
 No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!  

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant   
See if that works any better than a fair trial!  

War Dims Hope for Peace   
 I can see where it might have that effect!  

 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile  
   Ya think?!  

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures   
      Who would have thought!  
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide    
They may be on to something!  

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges   
      You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?  

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge   
     He probably IS the battery charge!  

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group   
Weren't they fat enough?!  

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft   
That's what he gets for eating those beans!  

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks   
       Do they taste like chicken? 

  Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half   
       Chainsaw Massacre all over again!  
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors   
       Boy, are they tall!  

And the winner is...   
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead   
     Did I read that right?  


Paula Scott said...

Too funny! I often question the reliability of anything we read in the publications these days. Especially the newspaper.

Anonymous said...

Some of these are quite clever and others are just dumb. I always tried to have my students write goofy headlines in the yearbook just to see if anyone would notice. My warped sense of humor!

I did a lot of research on nonprofits up your way yesterday for the microfinance startup for whom I work two days a week. Please check back at my blog to read more about what we are doing and how you could help.Our first company and credit union are in your city.

NanU said...

I'm not sure that Pabst is even beer, period.

Anonymous said...

That was very funny , the one that caught my nerve was "Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter" , can't stop laughing :)

Team G Square said...

nice one

George said...

Thanks for the mid-week lift in spirits. I sometimes wonder if editors ever read their own papers.

Wanda said...

Hi Sylvia ~ We are still in Tahoe so have limited computer time, and sometimes can't get a signal.

Laughed so hard at the refrigerator message!!!

Judy Sheldon-Walker said...

The first was the best! I had to pass this one on!

Kay L. Davies said...

I've seen these before but they always make me laugh. Have committed a few myself, but not on refrigerators and not in headlines. Whew.

Pam said...

I haven't laugh that hard in a while, thanks for the chuckle, Sylvia. Love that first one!

lotusleaf said...

Sylvia, thanks for the early morning laugh. I liked the one about the red tape holding up a bridge. Typical thing to see in an Indian newspaper.

magiceye said...

thank you for the laughs!!

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

I love stuff like this! My favorite kind of humor. (It's as gray here in Veneta OR as it probably is over there where you are -- so I can use the laughs.)

Indrani said...

Great series of oneliners... enjoyed reading them. :)

nana_ang_poppaphil said...

Very good, I really enjoy your sense of humour.
The last one is hilarious

Bagman and Butler said...

Man Dies from Laughing at Blog

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

You are making me laugh early this morning.

Serline said...

Lots of gems in there... you really made my day!

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

Portland Time