I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Ah, That Older Crowd!!


                              A distraught senior citizen
Phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know,
'that the medication
You prescribed has to be taken
For the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
Before the senior lady replied,
I'm wondering, then,
Just how serious is my condition
Because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.'

***********************
An older gentleman was
On the operating table
Awaiting surgery
And he insisted that his son,
A renowned surgeon,
Perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia,
He asked to speak to his son
'Yes, Dad, what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son;
Do your best
And just remember,
If it doesn't go well,
If something happens to me,
Your mother
Is going to come and
Live with you and your wife....'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (I LOVE IT!)

Aging:
 
Eventually you will reach a point
When you stop lying about your age
And start bragging about it. This is so true. I love
to hear them say "you don't look that old."
---------------------------------

The older we get,
The fewer things
Seem worth waiting in line for.

---------------------------------


When you are dissatisfied
And would like to go back to youth,
Think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


You know you are getting old when
Everything either dries up or leaks.

-------------------------------


One of the many things
No one tells you about aging
Is that it is such a nice change
From being young.


Ah, being young is beautiful,
But being old is comfortable.


First you forget names,
Then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when
You forget to pull it down.

---------------------------------

Two guys one old one young
Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart

When they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy,
'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
And I guess I wasn't paying attention
To where I was going.
The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...'
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'
The old guy says, 'Well,
Maybe I can help you find her..
What does she look like?'
' The young guy says,
'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
With red hair,
Blue eyes, is buxom wearing no bra,
Long legs,
And is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours.'


The Price of Gas!!!
I went into the gas station today and
asked for five dollars worth of gas...
The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

15 comments:

magda said...

Hahaaaaa,Sylvia, you are wonterful !!!!
Thank you !!!
Greetings
Magda

Tracy said...

...those are too funny!
When you are dissatisfied
And would like to go back to youth,
Think of Algebra.
(truthfully, I prefer to think of pimples) and that pretty much takes care of that longing to return to youth!)

Kay said...

Oh Sylvia! These are priceless! The algebra one hit home for me.

Janie said...

These are great, especially the first and the last!

Sridharan said...

ha..ha..! Hilarious..Thanks Sylvia!

Arti said...

Great... Its 6 in the morning and I have started my day with a nice laugh, good for health!!
The first one was the best as were the quotes!!
Have a wonderful day:-)

lotusleaf said...

Oh Sylvia, I am in splits! There is a verse on algebra known to all school children here:
"Algebra!
I seen cobra!
I gone gabra!!"
Fortunately , I love algebra.

SandyCarlson said...

Thank you for making me laugh tonight!

Team G Square said...

Hilarious ,

George said...

Very funny. True, but very funny. Thanks for ending my day with a smile.

Jack said...

Some of these are getting a little close to home, Sylvia. Burst gasket at algebra. Belly laugh at WalMart.

Naturedigital said...

Thank you Sylvia for making my day again.
Costas

Pietro said...

Ah Sylvia, a very amusing post!!!
It's nice that you've given to each sketch a different color!

Míriam Luiza said...

Gostei das piadas! Ri muito! Obrigada pela diversão!

Serline said...

Jokes about the senior aren't as bad as they tell me. I shall look forward to ageing gracefully...

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

Portland Time