I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

As seen through the minds of kids...  
 
NUDITY 
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
 

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..'

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now She's hitting the bottle. 

MORE NUDITY 
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?' 
 

POLICE # 1 
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?


ELDERLY 
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

DRESS-UP 
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.' 


DEATH 
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)


SCHOOL 
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!' 

BIBLE 
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!' 

NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED

12 comments:

George said...

You definitely brightened my day! Don't you just love the way kids think? I like the funeral line as well.

Naturedigital said...

You have brightened my day(or evening as it is here)again Sylvia.
Thank you.
Costas

Kay said...

This is too too hilarious. I gotta admit the nudity ones made me laugh the hardest. Maybe I will go back to bed.

jabblog said...

These really made me chuckle. Thank you, Sylvia:-)

Kay L. Davies said...

Certainly brightened my day, Sylvia.
-- K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Cildemer said...

He he he! Had a good laugh here!
Thanks for sharing, Sylvia;o)

***
À bientôt****

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

That's pretty funny. I like the boy in the women's room and the dog in the police car best.

Linda Reeder said...

These are wonderful!

Carly said...

Cute post. A few I've heard before, but always good for a laugh!

Sridharan said...

Hilarious! I always enjoy reading your posts Sylvia!

Serline said...

Hope it's not inappropriate, but I liked the bible ones the most ;-P

Arija said...

Oh my dear, thank you so much, that is the first time in two days that I have smiled let alone had a laugh!

Love . . . Arija

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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