Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Chardonnay. Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Chardonnay can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately andwith a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstaclesthat prevent you from living the life you want to live! Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living.
Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister!
WARNINGS: -
*The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good dry Merlot !!!
What can I say???? Seemed like time for a little humor!
Sylvia's world in thoughts and pictures
I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!
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What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.
15 comments:
Sylvia - told you I was a sucker - I was about to go and get some! He he. I loved this. And guess what I am having for breakfast!!!
Funny, my Doctor says I consume too much Chardonnay or its counterparts; my Chiropractor says I don't consume enough. I'm with my Chiropractor!
Fess up, Sylvia. Were you sipping a little before you wrote this post?
good for you!
Snork! Sylvia, this is hilarious!! Excuse me while I go forward it to 3/4 of my address book...
It is so funny that I am reading this with a glass of merlot in my hand :) I should save this and apply to all kinds of ailments :)
Humor is OFTEN a healthy choice … thanks ;--)
Hugs and blessings,
This is so funny. I like to have a glass of wine now and then and the doctors say it is good for you so why not? Great post. I needed that!
Hi Sylvia,I'm adding my laughter to the general melee here -'Numpty' that I am, I started to read it and was thinking yeah - wonder where you can get this stuff then realised the joke.... excuse my dizzyness Syl - It 'is' Monday morning, and it takes me a wee while to 'get wakened to the week'! hehe ! Cheers Kate x.
Hello Sylvia, I enjoyed reading a number of your blogs, I came across your name on Judy's blog.
I love in the UK this year came to the USA FOR 10 DAYS, San Fransico was one of many places visited.
I was made so welcome by the Americans and hope to return some day. Keep up the good work you're doing a grand job.
Yvonne.
I love it. But definitely my drug of choice is dry merlot :)
To drink or not to drink Chardonnay or Merlot? Oh the decision.
While they are two of my favorite wines, I now drink Pinot Grigio because it doesn't give me a headache.
Beautiful! Oh, I needed that laugh, thanks Sylvia!
After my trip with my friend through Vienna's 2nd district last Wednesday, we had some Merlot and the effect was great! Just as sweet as you described it! :)
I have had a prescription for Merlot for years now! ;)
What a great piece of humor writing. I do hope it gets picked up and has wide distribution.
Unfortunately for me, Chardonnay is no longer part of life's equation, as people tend not to enjoy themselves when a drunk falls on the floor, flopping around like a fish, in a seizure. I did enjoy it once upon a time.
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