Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ' Jesus Walks on the Water. ' The sermon tonight: ' Searching for Jesus. '
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Ladies, don ' t forget the rummage sale. It ' s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ' Hell ' to someone who doesn ' t care much about you.
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Don ' t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ' I will not pass this way again, ' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don ' t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ' What Is Hell? ' Come early and listen to our choir practice .
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare ' s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church ' s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ' I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours. '
Sylvia's world in thoughts and pictures
I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!
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What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.
20 comments:
God bless the church ladies. They never let us down.
Oh, so funny. Thank you very much.
Oh PhQB i'm just rolling here. This is too funny. Thanks for sharing :) Have a great Friday :)
Very amusing, Sylvia! I really needed to smile a bit!
Have a very nice weekend :-)
Really nice
Happy new month!
Oh my god, I can't stop laughing! Thank you Sylvia. You given me a wonderful start to my weekend.
You know when i visit your superb blog i enjoy very much too! Thank you so much Sylvia! For the joining of my blog followers! Good luck
Those typos change the whole meaning of the bulletin. I had a good laugh, Sylvia. Enjoy your weekend.
I love these, I had to post a couple on my face book page since I am a PK. Thank you!
PS: Holy Cow you have got some fantastic skies this week too!
I don't know when I have laughed so hard. These are great and made my afternoon brighter.
Wonderful!!! Really enjoyed reading this Sylvia, I'm still chuckling.
You made me smile out loud. Thanks!
Thanks for the smiles and chuckles.
Well YOU have made my day - needed several belly laughs and these certainly provided them!!!
These are a riot! Never trust a spell checker.
OMG, these are hysterical. Proof reading is apparently a lost art.
Thanks for some great laughs.
I have read that already, but it still makes me laugh !
These are priceless - thank you Sylvia for brightening my Saturday :-)
The sun did come here in the evening not so grey any more and you made me smile again!
The sermon this morning: ' Jesus Walks on the Water. ' The sermon tonight: ' Searching for Jesus
Still smiling!!
/MB
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