I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A Little Female Wisdom!



1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills.... She has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today...

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my underwear...

10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

17 comments:

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Oh BOY did I need that just now, Sylvia! Thanks! I was laughing out loud at #1!! But, I must say, that last picture is DEFINITELY my favorite! Have a great rest of the week!!

bobbie said...

Funny ones.
But - I guess I'm some kind of stupid, because I forget to eat all the time. Haven't been hungry in years. Please explain why I still haven't lost an ounce.

lotusleaf said...

Oh How I laughed reading your post! Thanks for a wonderfully witty post!

Charlene Amsden said...

This made me chuckle!

Linda Reeder said...

There are some wisdoms in those witticisms!

Serline said...

Hilarious! Love the underwear parade...

L. Neusiedler said...

absolutly a good LOL early in the morning :)!

Kay said...

you are a riot! Always a pleasure!

magiceye said...

:) cute!!

Kay said...

Oh thank you, Sylvia. I needed something to cheer me up and this did it.

Ann, Chen Jie Xue 陈洁雪 said...

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my underwear...

When I ran. it didn't burn my underwear, but worst, it burn my skin. My inner thighs were raw and had blisters. And it is true!!!!!

Splendid Little Stars said...

This is fantastic! By the time I got to #9, I was chuckling out loud! I am definitely sharing this!

Unknown said...

Wise words..
Costas

DeniseinVA said...

Lovely!!!! Thanks Sylvia, that really cracked me up.

Lew said...

All great, but the global warming needs to be sent to some of our representatives in Congress!

Gattina said...

Hahaha ! I just wanted to switch off the light and sleep and now I have to laugh so much !

Arija said...

Thank you my dear, I really needed a cheer-me-up!

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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