I miss you Sam!!

I miss you Sam!!
I miss you Sam!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Remember Hollywood Squares Way Back When???

These great questions and answers are from the days when the Hollywood
 Squares game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

  
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde:   Loneliness!          (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up 
almost 15 minutes of the show!) 

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough..

Q. 
If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q.
 True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q.
 You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A.  Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. 
According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q.
 Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q.
 In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q.
 What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q.
 As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A.  Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never  forget.  
Q.
 Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q.
 Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A... Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q.
 In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A.  Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. 
It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q.
 During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie:  Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q.
 Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q.
 When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q.
 If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q.
 According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q.
 It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul  Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected..

Q. 
Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he  trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q.
 Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A.  Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. 
When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q.
 Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A.  Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q.
 According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
 
 
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING!

9 comments:

James said...

I remember The Hollywood Squares Paul Lynde used to crack me up! My favorite game show from back then was The Match Game with Gene Rayburn. :)

Cildemer said...

He he he! Had a good laugh at some of them!
Thanks for sharing, Sylvia. And thanks also for your lovely and welcoming comment in my blog;o)

Hope you are having a FABULOUS week****

Margaret said...

LOL.. Thank you!

George said...

Paul Lynde had a quick wit and a dead-pan delivery. Thanks for sharing these gems with us. My day is much brighter now.

Kay L. Davies said...

Well, I won't stop laughing for a while now. Thanks, Sylvia.
-- K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Sridharan said...

It is 6 am in my part of the world when I see this post.. What a way to start the day...with non stop laughter...Thanks for sharing these very good ones.. Have a great evening Sylvia..!

Linda Myers said...

I remember all these jokes from way back when, and they're still funny! Thanks for the memories.

forgetmenot said...

Too funny! I watched Hollywood Squares all the time. I'll put those "old time shows" up against any of the ridiculous "reality shows" that are on today. Ah, the "good old days"! Thanks, Sylvia

Naturedigital said...

I cant write a decent comment Sylvia. Loughing does not allow me find the proper keys on the keyboard.
Costas

What Can I Say?

What Can I Say?
I'm interested in almost everything. Use to like to travel, but it's too expensive now. I take Tai Chi classes, swim, volunteer in a Jump-start program for pre-schoolers. I'm an avid reader and like nearly everyone these days I follow politics avidly. I'm a former teacher and Special Projects Coordinator for a Telecommunications company, Assistant to the President of a Japanese silicon wafer manufacturing company. Am now enjoying retirement -- most of the time. I have two daughters, one son-in-law and two sons scattered all over the country. No grandchildren.

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